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This is a site, completly devoted to me. My name is Teshaun(tea-Shawn) J. Massey(mass-e)...I am 18 years of age
and I am close to completing high school. I live with my mother, secent youngest brother and first youngest sister. My father
is one of those 'dead beat dads' you hear so much about. So as you may have drawn from that fact alone, my life sucks. Yes,
I am another one of those screwed up depressed people that no one seems to pay attention to. I am a Manic/Bipoler(which ever
tearm you perfer). My friends, writing, and the music I listen to keeps me going. This I will explain in due time, but as
of now, lets move on to something else.
The name of this site is the name of my dog, Mina...She is a Chihuahua and shes cute as well as evil.^^I picked her that
way. On this site you will learn all you need to know about me or all I want for you to know. I also have another site where
you can post replies to my entries. That is becoming fewer and fewer since I've been trubbeled by other things. Now, bare
with me, for my spelling isnt all the great. Enjoy your stay here at my site.
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Updates...
7/16/05~ Schools out for us. Class of 05 is done. Yay...I'm proud of my kids. ^^I said I wouldn't cry, but that went
to hell. In three days I start classes to get my GED. Even though I'm not quite ready for it, I can't tell my mother this.
My statis right now is singel as all hell and intrested in the taken ones. All that needs to be siad is that the child is
obliviuse. Oh well, its best. Tired of trying for something thats not there anymore. I still write, its my passion and I'm
never giving it up. Next week I have an art fair to do with some of my Creative Writing class members where we get payed by
the poem. I dream of one day getting a book of poems and short stories publushed. Right now my Petree is off in basics, way
to far from me, I need him right now. I am also on a diet. I cut down on what I eat and I take pills that speed up my mettabulism.
I have to fit in a bridesmaids dress in october and my body is not what i want it to be. I am suffering from manic depression
still, but I'm working on it. Looking for a job to help my mother pay for the house and its not working out. I think I've
completely given on Doc, he's just to blind for me. Eros has moved on, yet I still adore him and my Teddy Bear...^^Hes still
there, many thanks go out to him. I should go now. Theres not much else to say...
1/19/05~Tomorrow is my last day at school with my firends. Monday I will not be there to start the new greading peried.
I will be at an alternative school, known as Bendix, struggaling to graduate. The graduating thing doesn't bother me half
as much as being away from my friends does. Come the begining of first hour I'll be crying as well as after school. I can
not stand to be away from my friends for more than a week, sometimes not even that. Sure, I have every Friday, but what if
I don't even get that. What if they don't let me get a longe-term visaters pass, fuck it, I'll buy one every day if I
have to. They can't keep me from my peoples. I love them to much...
1/14/05~Hey all, life sucks, but I'll be going to Adult Ed to work out graduating on time. I posted two new poems
here and on poetry.com..."The Wall" and "Remorseful Love"...find the other two in 'My Works'...well, I'm tired you guys. Today
was very long. Night everyone.
1/11/05~Hey...I've gotten a good porssion of the page for my friends finished. I did my best and its only a taste of
what I wanna do for them. The closer the time comes for orientation, the sadder I get. Being without all my friends every
day is ganna kill me. I'm not ready to go yet, not yet. Theres so much I wanna tell them, so much I wanna do for them...oh
god, I sound like a big ass drama queen baby. But how would you feel if you were me?...I'm lost without them.
1/10/05~Hi...Today should be Mon...Not sure, cuz Sat. I was out at a dance till 2 the next morning. I has fun, I
danced all night, ^^the guys couldn't keep up with me. It was funny. I danced with all 'My Boys'...except for one whom was
ocupide with...Her...I can't stand the name so it will not be said. Doc is used to ignoring me until he wants something
from me. The songs they played...thank the gods Big Daddy was there. Without him, I would of lost it. I really wanna thank
him for what hes done for me, I just dont know how. But anyways...I'm going to be in Adult Ed. next simester...so I can graduate
on time. I am devistated that wont be walking with my friends, but at least I'll graduate on time. I have to do something
for them....Something that tops all the other things....Its ganna be hard but I can do it^^.
*1/5/05~Today is the 2nd day I have missed school. Not a good thing, of course, but mother has problems waking
up on time. Being that there is no heat in my house, I sleep on the coach. Yesterday, wasn't the greatist. I wore my friend's
shirt, cuz its my fav and I asked him if I could ware it sometime...so, his 'girl' gets all bitchy and she gives me these
evil looks all day.^_^LOL honestly, I thought it was funny as all hell. Come to find out she was pissed at him not only cuz
I was waring his shirt, but because I was at his house all of winter brake. Now, I have never laughed so hard about something
stupid like this before, but I was dieing...When he told me this, I had to hold back until I hung up. Both of them have issues.
Her more then him. I tried to be cool with her. For him, I tried to do everything I could to make them both happy so that
she was happy cuz she was whinning about she still wanted to be friends with me and all this crap. But you put yourself in
my place. Would you continue to be friends with someone who used you when they were supposed to be your firend in the first
place. Funny how the world works to some people, dont you think? Now, I love my firends, each one of them mean the world to
me. But when they hurt me to a point where I dont want to breath anymore, its ganna take a whole hell of a lot more to become
good friends with me again. Doc, if your reading this, I'm sorry. But I tried. She didnt need to get all bitchy about it.
If you hate me cuz I said all this, fine...make you both happy. Its what I tried for in the first place. If it takes me losing
you to make you happy then so be it.
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